At one point in life, we all have to go by some sort of rules, discipline, and goals.
In most cases, we all try to make sure that our ideas and plans are of the highest social and cultural standard. Or at the very least, we strive towards it.
Nonetheless, we all try to be good or want to be viewed as good, and to be recognized as a sincere, honest, and proud person. Now that can be an individual-to-individual case, depending on the degree of the wish for which the achievement is for. But above all, the main purpose is to be somehow accepted by those we love, by those who look down upon us, by those we look up to.
Thinking of all this reminded me of an old quote I heard.
“A good deed by all means is justified in the end”.
And I cannot help but think that the core of the problem is the justifying part. To whom do we justify and why? Mostly we try to convince ourselves, especially when others do not agree. To a certain extent that is alright.
However, once we are convinced that we cannot be wrong in whatever we do, everything becomes wrong. Because we stop admitting our mistakes. And instead, the whole world becomes our enemy even if it was the world we tried to save. Even if all our hard work was for those whom we love and care for, but this is where it all begins when we stop to ask ourselves if we are really doing this for us or for them. Simple acts of goodness can be easily misunderstood if viewed from another person’s point of view, for we do not know what standards they go by.
One of the main triggers is fear of failure, which leads to hatred for those who do not understand us, which leads to jealousy for those who do better than us or just seem to get the praise that we think we should have gotten, and then resulting to greed of emotion and knowledge to not share, to make others come to us out of dependency. This ultimately leads to anger/rage against all those who still do not see us the way we want to be viewed. Essentially, the urge to control becomes our biggest downfall, leaving us to question our own drive, pointing fingers at those who refuse us, refute us, disobey us, making us forget the very reason what made us start our own journey in the first place.
And so good becomes twisted until we are twisted and distorted in our views and goals that we forget what we really wanted.