There was a time I was fascinated by little things.
As a child, playing in the grass, running around trees, tumbling in the dirt, playing with insects and frogs…that is all I ever wanted to do. Without these things, I felt empty. Without these things, I felt lost. No amount of school work and no amount of scolding from my parents could keep me away from that, from mother nature, from just being a child. I sensed that even the animals loved me. I was known in my neighborhood as the animal lover. I never discriminated between the love I gave to a spider, to an ant, to snails, to dogs, cats, birds, and whatever else there was. Even a mosquito. Despite its ill intentions, it was still so amazing to look at. I was so lost within that. And I wonder why people can´t see the beauty of life.
I remember the day, because it shook me to my core. It was a wonderful dusk, the skies were beautifully colored in orange, merging with the whites and blues into a darker grey. I felt as if I was standing in a painting. Everything felt surreal. I was holding a glass of milk which my father insisted I finish. I walked outside, forgetting that I was holding the milk, mesmerized by the sky. I felt something wet near my feet, it was the milk which I almost spilled.
Suddenly he showed up, the street dog of our neighborhood. The only dog who ignored me. He was staring at the milk. I figured I would give it to him, since I hated drinking milk. My heart filled with love and without fear. I approached him, confident that nature will not betray me. I sat down in front of him, even though he was growling, I laughed it off.
Being a child, I was wondering how a dog could drink milk out of a glass. So I poured it into my hand and put it right in front of him. At first he drank it, but then it happened. Stunned by my father’s shouting, the dog reacted and bit right into my arm. Surprisingly, it did not hurt. I saw blood flowing out of my arm. But instead, I was filled with more compassion. For a moment, I felt we connected. He let go of me and licked my wound. As I was about to rub his head, my father knocked me back, and the neighbor rushed out with a stick hitting the dog. All I could do was watch in pain, begging them to stop.
My voice fell on deaf ears, fell on adult ears who had forgotten the voice of nature, the voice of love. I felt as if my whole world was ripped apart. That was the day I was never the same again. I felt guilt. Because of me, that innocent creature was harmed.
I felt lost and helpless. No words could describe the agony and torment my heart went through. Perhaps this too, is part of nature.